13 February 2006, Cape Town, South Africa
My Experience of Egg Donation

As a second-time donor, my experience of egg donation was transformed. Contrary to the scientifically-oriented first-time donation, the second donation was filled with emotion and thought. I was both happy and honoured to be given a second chance to donate for another couple. I had been waiting for this opportunity as I hoped that things would turn out differently this time.

The thing is I was a bit sad and disappointed at the news that the first couple I donated for had not been so lucky. Their pregnancy had not been successful. This made me feel sad for them since I knew how much they wanted to have a child. All of their efforts and hopes had ended in vain. This was painful.

So, when I was approached by the second couple, I thought yes! This is my chance to try to make another couple happy…to help them make their dream a reality, if I can.

The inspirational story from the second couple touched my heart. Somehow I felt very close to the woman that I was going to donate for. Her brief introduction of who she and her partner were made me feel even more sure that I was doing the right thing. We had a lot in common; her love for knowledge, especially medical education, her dedication to her family and partner. They just sounded like a perfect, stable and loving family into which a child must be raised. And it just felt like I was helping one of my biological sisters. I was almost certain that should they have the child, they would give her nothing but love and all the right things in life that she deserves, just like I would do.

Moreover, the whole experience of taking the hormones became a lot easier the second time around. I knew how my body would react and change, though keeping in mind that it could be different. But the most amazing thing is how much I had embraced and cherished this experience. It was almost as though I was getting closer to the recipient mother. Getting to understand how important this process is to her and her partner. These feelings made me wish there was more I could do to ensure success of the procedure and the pregnancy. But I knew that all I could do was give them a small gift in the hope that it would become a much bigger gift, joy and a miracle, because children are a bundle of joy and love.

Then I started to imagine what it would be like if they had conceived and had the baby. I could picture the mother on delivery day with a perfect little girl; she is filled with joy and completeness. This made me feel somehow proud that I was trying to make this happen for this couple. I hoped and prayed to God that nothing would go wrong this time.

I have always been able to live away from my family without much resentment. But when I was going through the process of egg donation, thoughts about family filled my mind. I got to think about my three sisters and brother. I realised more how precious they are to me, and how life would be so different without them. It would be pretty grim and unexciting. We get along so well and have lot of fun together whenever we see each other. They are my world, more especially now since we lost our mother. I can’t imagine not having them around. This is what I wished for ‘my couple’; to have this wonderful experience of having a family.

Life is just too precious, and if it could be wrapped in a beautiful paper and presented as a gift…sure, why not?! Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to just do that for someone on Christmas or birthdays? “Wow! Look, I got a baby girl/boy for Christmas and was so beautifully presented!” Just imagine. Well, it has become a little close to that. With the wonderful technological and scientific advances as well as kind, giving women and men, it is possible to give this gift of life.

You know, as a blood donor, I’ve always wanted to do more to give to fellow human beings. Giving blood is great, considering that you could be saving someone’s life by just sharing something you make so easily. But egg donation is fulfilling, because you give more than just life. You help start a family like the one I have. You help create an entire human being. Now if that’s not amazing, then I don’t know what is.

I certainly encourage other healthy women out there to share some of their love with some needy people. We all need love, let’s share it.

I hope the best for ‘my couple’. May this not just be a tenuous experience, but one that they can appreciate and learn from. Most of all, may your dreams be realised. Thank you very much for giving me this opportunity to share some of my love with you.